I worked like crazy today, with very little in terms of accolades or recognition. That wouldn't bother me normally, but today it grated on my nerves. It was as if I have been taken for granted one too many times. While I was away, my husband and children had a lazy day, not even changing out of the jammies all day. I don't fault them for this, but just wish I could have participated in it with them.
While reeling from this discontent, I came home and sat at my computer and started to write. The words wouldn't come and felt like I had hit a brick wall. I'm not talking about blog writing, but putting pen to paper for the images that were swirling in my head. It has been a stalemate. That particular feeling just pushed me over the edge into the dark side. I went to bed.
So, to help myself feel like I've accomplished something for myself today, I'm blogging. There is no rhyme or reason to my ramblings, but the comforting fact that my keyboard is clicking along and I sound productive. My late evening nap hasn't restored my energy, so I may end up back in bed, sleeping away the night, dreaming of a new attitude tomorrow.
Eleanor Roosevelt said: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Are my dreams enough to accomplish what I have set out to do? Does my future really belong to me? Am I the author of my own destiny and journey? I suppose that those questions are not to be answered in a mere few moments of introspection, but will take a lifetime to discover. I am impatient and expect things to be displayed exactly to my own specifications and time frame.
So, while I have had a dark day, tomorrow may be brighter. I will go back to bed, and wake up in the morning with a new sense of purpose and will try again. I just can't give up. Just start to write.
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