Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Bit of Spewage (Yes, I do know that really isn't a word!)


1. Expel large quantities of (something) rapidly and forcibly.
2. Be poured or forced out in large quantities: "oil spewed out of the damaged tanker". 
(Courtesy of Dictionary.com)

Tonight I am going to spew.  Oh, I'm not sure how large the quantity of words will be, but I'm furiously and rapidly typing on my keyboard.  My poor keys are suffering from the force, and I take a quite moment to apologize.  There is so much going through my head right now, that I want to get it all down, but inevitably, I will have to go to bed, so I will be forced to settle for the ramblings I can put down.

Image from Google
1. Yesterday as I was walking across the parking lot, a kid (there is no other way to describe him) had some pretty harsh music pumping, enough to deaden the eardrums of the next county.  Of course, he has the right to play whatever music he wants, even laden with vulgar and disturbing imagery, not to mention the crude and morally questionable lyrics.  I say, hurray for the right to listen to this trash.  On the other hand, I hold umbrage with having my ears assaulted with such filth.  When did it become okay for the rights of others to infringe of my rights of silence and solace?

2.  Speaking of music, I have a new musical crush.  Daniel and I watched "Dan in Real Life" last weekend.  I was completely enthralled with the movie, but especially the music.  I took a quick trip to Amazon and purchased the soundtrack.  It has been lovely balm to my ears listening to Sondre Lerche.  Give him a try, and while your at it, if you haven't seen the movie, it was a good one.  (That is saying a lot, because I'm not a movie person!)

3. Work has been absolutely chaotic this past week.  Communication nightmares with employees and putting out fires that seem to crop up at every turn.  I've made myself sick with worry and my poor immune system defeated me and I ended up with a cold that won't go away.  Why is it when you can't take time off, you seem to need it the most?

4.  My dear daughter is starting to suffer the effects of pre-teen hormonal tendencies.  Tonight she screamed at me when I asked her to practice.  In fact, her words were, "I'm sorry I'm not perfect!"  Um, isn't that the whole reason we practice?  Because we aren't?  It's a lesson that I hope she is learning, and that I'm teaching in a way she will understand.  We are clashing and at odds as to what is acceptable at school, home, and everywhere in between.  I'm told this stage can come and go quickly, but then again, it can last until she is thirty.  I'm sure I never caused my own mother this much anguish! (Said very sarcastically, because she is thrilled I have a daughter.  Just. Like. Me.)

5.  My house is a total and utter disaster.  I'm not saying this in a, "oops, you caught me with the dishes in the sink!" way, but "Holy cow, what category was that tornado that hit your house?!" kind of way.  We have been on the go for days now, with only scant time for household chores.  Everything has fallen behind.  I am now going to be the mean mom and suck all the fun out of a Saturday to see if we can even come close to making some sense to all the clutter and debris.  It's gross.  I promise.  Don't come by.

Image from Shoe.com
6.  I had a lot of compliments on my shoes today.  I know, that is completely vain and self-absorbed.  To be honest, today I needed it.  When things seem to spiral out of control in my life, I do like to do it in a nice pair of heels.  I found a steal a couple of weeks ago at DSW, a burgundy pair of heels, patent leather.  They are adorable.  Of course, Daniel thinks I'm a bit much, wearing them with a yellow sweater, but hey, it's all about the attitude.

7. I went almost two weeks without talking to my mom.  Yes, horrifying, I know.  With as busy as we all are, it seems as though time slips away before we know it.  She called yesterday and we caught up on everyone's illnesses and gave updates on school for the kids, and so forth.  I realized that I haven't had a play date with my own mom for some time. I think that is next on the agenda after cleaning the house, some quality mom time.  I think I'll bring Ab along for the ride.  I can use some time playing with her as well.  Perhaps we'll go crazy and paint our nails.  Black.  Cool.

Image from Google
8. Last night I spent time basking in the sweet stanzas of a poet in my neighborhood.  She read us a few poems, talked about them, and read some of her own creations.  It was a pleasure and so uplifting.  Even Ab and Nige got into it.  I'm not a poet, but I may have to dabble in it and feel a creative muse take flight.  What is so interesting is that while at work today, I read a couple of poems for a class.  An amazing coincidence?  No, but perhaps a nudge from above to explore a new writing medium and stretch myself a little?  

9.  I truly believe that the Lord puts people in our lives to better us.  Do you have a teacher or a friend that has said something that just touched you in a way that changed you for the better, from that moment on?  Or perhaps a confidante that pulled out your sadness from the depths of your soul and left you feeling lighter, more liberated and ready to face the world?  It is something I've been pondering on.  As I look back on the people who have said or done something that influenced me, I wonder who I would be without them in my life.

10.  Ab is drying her hair in my bathroom right now.  She is singing Taylor Swift songs at the top of her lungs.  It seems like our encounter of an hour ago never took place.  To me she is perfect.  She is one of those who have made me into who I am today.  She made me a mother.  Ah, Love Story.  For some reason, this is one of her favorites.  She is a romantic like me.  I wonder what her dreams and visions will be and where they will take her.  Wow.  What a ride.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Finding the Right Size

Last year I bought a very cute pair of running/walking shoes so I could be better shod in my attempts at physical fitness.  The gray and pink complimented each other and I felt like I was ready for my successful endeavors.  Sad to say, my good intentions did not translate into actual walking and running.  You see, every time I wore the darn shoes, my right foot would go numb.  I tried loosening the laces, but it still happened every single time.

This past Wednesday was the final straw.  Along with the youth group in my church, we walked/ran a 5K for one of our weeknight activities.  The weather was superb.  It was nice and cool, the sun just starting its decent, illuminating the mountains in golden hues.  Everyone was laughing, having a superb time.  I on the other hand, was at the tail end of the pack, hobbling along, in my shoes, with a numb right foot.  I finally gave up at mile 1.5, and headed back to the church to finish up the day.  It was rather upsetting that so many of the ‘kids’ were able to leave me in the dust, even my very own children with shorter legs than I have.

On Saturday, Dan and I went to a running store and I was fit with new shoes.  I had to walk barefoot, so the salesperson could observe my natural gait, and then shoe after shoe was tried, until I have a pair that met my needs.  Apparently, I need a lot of support.  The thing that really shocked me from my experience was the fact I had been wearing the wrong size of running shoes all my life, really, 1 ½ sizes too small.  No wonder my right foot was going numb.

According to the shoe expert, our feet swell and spread when we walk and run.  That really shouldn’t surprise me.  As my feet were expanding whilst on the treadmill, the nerves in my feet didn’t have anywhere to expand, hence the numb feeling.  After being fitted with the appropriate shoe, it was like walking on air.
I went to the gym this morning and walked a quick two miles on the treadmill.  What a difference my equipment made!  It was a drastic difference than my workouts in the past.  It was actually enjoyable as I felt the stability of good support, and it made the ‘chore’ all that more bearable.

Of course I have to draw some sort of analogy to my writing!  I have an amazing husband who supports a wild dream I have to write.  I have people who constantly check in on my progress, and don’t seem to mind when I tell them I am no where closer to a completed story than I was the last time they asked.  I have a lot of support.  Much like my new shoes, I am one who needs a lot of support here.

Now for a stretch, but I am going to try to get it to come together, I hope.  For a long time, I’ve been wearing shoes that were too small for my feet.  Am I doing the same thing to myself in writing?  Is the story I want to tell something that is making me numb because it isn’t coming together the way I’d like?  Or is it that I need to find the right ‘fit’ of my characters in order for writing to be an enjoyable experience?  I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know when I find out.  Of course, if my cute husband reads this, I can say I just need better equipment, you know, a new computer….Um, not sure he’d buy that one. :)

Thanks to Google for the image of the Saucony shoe!
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