Commitments

A couple of weeks ago, as we drove home from dance, Abbie and I had a long talk about commitments and the decisions she is making now, that will affect the rest of her life.

Dance has been a spot of contention among us.  I want her to dance, something I always dreamed about doing, but either never felt coordinated enough to pursue, or confident enough to attempt.  Abbie on the other hand, talks as though she wants to dance, and enjoys her lessons.  Practicing is something entirely different.  She abhors the structured time and I wonder if the fight is worth it.

She told me she was committed to dancing in a competition this summer.  I am a bit concerned, because to be ready, practicing will play an enormous role in the achievement of this commitment.  Will she make choices to attain her goal?  At this point, I hope and pray that she does.  Not just for my sake of seeing her in kilt and ghillies, dancing a lovely fling, but because at the same time she talked about the other commitments she has made in her life.

Abbie knows my expectations of her.  She knows good behavior from bad, and knows her limits.   I can't take all the credit.  She is an extraordinary child and has a good head on her shoulders.  Many family members and friends have made choices and she sees the consequences.  That right there is a teacher of some import.

From the time she was small, I would joke with her father, "Abbie won't date until she is 30!"  Partly for my own sanity, as well as to tease her.  She has taken up the mantra and committed not to date until she is 16, nor to have a boyfriend until then.  She spoke of these things lightly and I wasn't sure how they had sunk in, until a conversation we had, just last week.

There is a boy.  In her class at school, who told her she was looking pretty cute.  Oh my.  I'm not ready for this.  She asked me what she could tell him if he asked her to be his girlfriend.  All I had to say, "What are your commitments, Ab?"  She recited them, and asked me how to tell him nicely, they could just be friends.  I won't pretend that the conversation will not get harder as the years go on, but for now, I'm glad she knows what being committed to something means.

Her list is long.  I don't mind.  Every commitment is a good one, and one that will enable her to have a life that both she and I pray for.  She will not be burdened by undue hardships such as substance abuse, pre-marital sex and those consequences, or irrevocable body piercings or other bodily markings.  She will grow up and be mature and ready for the opportunities that come her way, unencumbered with the baggage these choices could bestow upon her.

I'm sure there will be times when these commitments will be tested and tried.  Boundaries will be pushed, but the choices have already been made.  There will never be the need to make them again if she sticks with what she had already decided.

Table Dancing, Bungee Jumping Characteristics

Sometimes I surprise myself.  Yes, even though I think I know myself pretty well, and recognize most of my quirks and idiosyncrasies, there are still times when I do something that takes me aback.  It usually isn’t something huge, like a sudden urge to bungee jump off a high building or something as uncharacteristic as dancing on the table, although I have threatened to do it a time or two.

On this sudden quest of self-discovery, I found myself, very uncharacteristically calm and rational.  Why this surprised me, is I am not a normally calm and rational person when it comes to situations beyond my control.  You see, my husband bought a truck….not just any truck, but a 1956 Ford F150, and no, that isn't our vehicle in the picture.  Well, when we first talked about the possibility of this purchase, I was not enthralled with the idea and that may be an understatement.   This is not a classic, restored vehicle, but a well loved and used work truck.  Oh, the body is quite “cool” to look at, but it doesn’t have the glossy paint and white walled tires that would make it an entrant in a classic car show.  Just the thought of the money pit it could be, was enough to turn me off on the idea.

My dear sweet guy came home on Tuesday, and told me that while driving his new acquisition (that he hadn’t told me he had acquired before hand), he ended up on the side of the road with a bum engine.  He lamented over making a bad decision, and wondered how the money situation would pan out and if he had just bought a lemon.  So, here is where I surprised myself.  I didn’t yell, I didn’t swear, and my blood pressure didn’t go through the roof.  Even though I was concerned about the amount of debt this little gem was going to cost us, I didn’t become a raging lunatic.

This little story gets even better when we get pulled over for a burned out tail-light.  As the officer is talking to us, my two kiddos are commenting about the high beam shining in the back of us.  Great.  Now I feel like a criminal.  But, calm, cool, and collected that I am, it didn’t faze me.  It was just a great moment that I will look back on and laugh.

So, in the uncertainty of it all, whether or not we have a 53 year old truck that will drain us dry or not, isn’t really relevant.  The point is I acted in a way that was uncharacteristically calm and rational.  Just imagine what could happen if I kept up this mode of behavior.  Life might be a lot more pleasant for me and everyone else at my house!

Have you ever found new abilities and characteristics you didn't know you had?

*Thanks to Google for the picture*