Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
First off, my life has been chaotic from the moment of my last post, and continues to be so. I am in need of finding the perfect balance, but have yet to discover the secret to that elusive nirvana. Suffice it to say, my lot in life, working full time, along with all the things I WANT to do, has caused it's own amount of stress, and unique work challenges (that I can't go on about in a public forum) has me questioning my own sanity. While I've gleaned some well earned literary fodder for a future villain, full of deep dark characteristics, it hasn't made for an easy two weeks.
I finally had my fill and did something my well-instilled work ethic (gee thanks, Mom and Dad) never allows me to do, I took some vacation days just because I wanted to. I had no plans, no destination, no well intentioned home repair project to work on. I needed some time to decompress and save myself from a stroke because my blood pressure was through the roof. Here was my Friday:
I woke up at the very leisurely hour 7:30, a time when I am almost alway at or en route to the office. I scooted my children off to school and looked around the disarray that is my house. I smiled, grabbed a book (brain candy--i.e. could be read in an hour or two) and drew myself a bath. Well, it lasted about three hours, with the requisite re-heating to keep myself comfy. I read my book about vampires, and turned into a raisin. It was pure bliss. My phone didn't ring once, and even if it had, I probably wouldn't have answered it, unless it was my mom, offering some Diet Dr Pepper.
Have you ever just needed to take a long relaxing bath? All my cares and woes seemed to flow down the drain with the water after I decided I had become waterlogged beyond all recognition. I continued in the same vein all weekend, an extra long one thanks to a federal holiday. It was pure bliss and I feel almost like myself again.
While I was in the Missionary Training Center, prior to my jaunt to Uruguay as a young missionary for my church, I remember hearing a talk by the wonderful Mary Ellen Edmunds, who is hilarious, spiritual, and somehow merges the two characteristics in a way no one else can. She had talked about filling our buckets, using the spiritual mean of reading our scriptures, prayer, fasting, service. The talk has flirted with my consciousness the past few days, and I realized that my bucket was very, very empty. There were not spiritual feast to fill it up. There were no times spent pampering my family or myself. I had been so busy with problems, I hadn't seen where the large cracks were in my own bucket, and it was almost too late to repair them. I spent the weekend doing just that, welding the fissures closed, and refilling the bucket.
Yesterday was divine. I spent the day with the most important person in my life. My children were playing with friends, and it left the afternoon free to spend with my red-bearded sweetheart. After a trip to lunch, and running errands, I felt that I had spent a day, dating the love of my life. We hadn't done that for so long, I had forgotten how much fun it is to hold hands and walk the aisles of the office supply store. No children in tow, meant I could steal a kiss without the chorus of "Gross!" or "You're freaking me out!" coming from the back seat of the car. It was bliss, and filled my bucket to almost brimming.
I vow to get back to my routine of blog hopping and comments. I will even catch up on my reading for my critique group! It was nice to take a little hiatus of sorts, to fill up my sadly depleted bucket. Today, my final day of vacation, the house is almost presentable, and laundry is only as high as the Rockies, not the Himalayas as it usually is. My dishes are clean, and I may even venture to make cookies with my children. Needless to say, I need to remember to take time, ever now and then, not waiting for a work crisis to push me into it. My health, my family, and I will thank me.
*Thanks to Google for the image*