Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Enough Love

"When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough."  Maurice Maeterlinck

I subscribe to a Daily Literary Quote on my iGoogle page, which has a plethora of wonderful tidbits from famous, and not so famous artists.  When I saw this quote today, I was taken aback, and thought about the recent loss in our family and how we all wish there had been more time together.  Of course, thinking causes me to get into quite a bit of trouble, because I then start to meander down alleys and turn unexpected corners in my thought process, places best left alone.

So begins the wondering of how I am as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.  A vicious voice whispers that I'll never be good enough, I'll only have a life full of regrets.  But today, it isn't quite as loud as the other voice, still a whisper, but one that is intense and sounds a lot like my own.  It keeps telling me that signs like this are just reminders, not there to make me feel guilty, but to spur on progress.

The Holidays are fast approaching, and in this ever busier society, time is more precious than I ever thought possible.  I want to sit at the table, with my family and reminisce about the crazy antics of childhood.  I hope we play a game or two, and revel in the hilarity that is bound to appear once the inhibitions of time have worn away.  I don't want to miss a moment.  I want to wrap it up in tissue, tenderly laying it away to be savored during the separation of time and distance.  I want to tie it up in a bow, and give it to myself as a valued gift, a veritable treasure, time together.

Perhaps I should prepare now for a run on a sledding hill, to give my children a memory that they will recall fondly, even though I hate being cold.  We can have a time where we throw snowballs, fall down and make snow angels, and come in to steaming cups of hot cocoa.  My heart will take pictures, and bind them together, wrapping me in a blanket of warm memories.

I intend to take time those I love, to make sure that I love them enough.  I don't want to have bitter tears when the time comes.  I fully intend to love more than enough.
*Thank you Google for the image*

2 Lovely Scribbles to Me:

Diane said...

Anytime that condemnation voice comes into my head, I know that is not from God. From your posts, I can tell you are a great mom. Hope you have a great week! :O)

2busy said...

This is a lovely post. Very heartwarming and such a good reminder to us all to treasure each and every moment.

Thanks for becoming a follower to my blog. I look forward to reading more great posts.

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