No, seriously, somedays I feel like I would beat him! Of course, I refrain, but today was one of the worst where the desire almost won out!How does one reason with a six-year old about anything? Yesterday it was 45 minutes of getting him to understand that home lunch was not an option for school and that eating school lunch didn't mean that I was ruining his life (I really need to lock up the TV for that little gem of a phrase, because I'm sure that is where he picked it up...). Today it was all about tying his shoes or rather, letting his sister tie his shoes because he REFUSES to learn how. Of course today, I was already at work, ensconced in a multitude of problems, which didn't help my temper.
So, how does one maintain some sort of decorum and, let's face it, sanity when it comes to reasoning or disciplining a child? I'm at my wits end!
I once had a friend tell me that the reason our children are so strong-willed is due to the fact they were kept for the "latter days" and to have the strength to be strong against all the crap in this world. Yep. I believe it! I would love for my son to have the iron will he has about shoelaces for something like staying away from drugs, abstaining from pre-marital sex, keeping the speed limit when he starts to drive. Just a few small issues that I've worried myself relentlessly about since he was born.
My biggest issue today though is the guilt I've had today for not being the perfect wife and mother. You see, I yelled at Daniel (seriously, why does he put up with me???), swore at the shoelace challenged son, made the trying to be helpful daughter cry, and threatened to quit my job and hide in a hole. I sat for most of the day with my office door closed, listening to some loud, crashing, yelling music, something I don't normally do, and festered. I've festered all day! When I arrived home, my son acted like nothing had happened, my daughter filled me in on her day, and all was well. But it ISN'T!!! I still feel like crap, and Abbie is walking around on egg shells and Nigel? Well, Nigel....he is content playing with his cars.
How does one go about being everything they should? How do I accomplish being a wife, mother, worker, all the while trying to accomplish a long-held dream, and do everything that each role needs me to. I'm starting to feel pulled into so many different directions, I'm very thin. (Not physically of course, that would be waaay to much to ask for. Thin. In my dreams.)
So, I blog about it, get the crap off my chest, do a little laundry, put away dishes, and try again tomorrow. Perhaps it will be better than today.
*Thank you Google for the image!*
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4 Lovely Scribbles to Me:
Yes, I'm there many days, too. Recently, I feel pulled thin and crazy in regards to my seven year old. On the other hand, our five year old twins are a piece of cake. Funny how that is...
Hope this coming week is a better one. I'm hoping it will be.
I couldn't sleep last night for many of the reasons you shared here. :) After agonizing longer than one should, I fell asleep and decided that somehow everything would get done, that we'll figure it all out...eventually. Sometimes its the process that hurts so badly for me. I always thought I was a patient person till I had kiddos...:) I'm going to make brownies this afternoon with the kiddos...if I weren't so darn far away I'd bring some over! luvs, katrina
Amen to this. There are days I feel I'm doing barely okay, others where I just know I sucked rocks as a mom and just want to hide under a rock.
And then sometimes I get a glimpse of my kids the way maybe God does and realize that they aren't turning out so bad and that they love me, and maybe I'm not so horrible after all.
The bottom line is that we're all doing our best--and that has to be enough. Hang in there. (And eat chocolate when warranted. Which, in my case, usually means daily.)
Slap the button on your sidebar...you've been nominated for the kreativ blog award. :) katrina
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