Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Thank You

I am sorry that I haven't been able to post any update to my previous post, "Missing" until today. My life has been a swirl of complete and utter chaos in the past week, with Dan leaving for Oklahoma and Fort Sill to search with his family for his brother. They left last Monday afternoon and drove all night, and heard from Dan's other brother en route, that Jeremy's body had been found. They were only a couple of hours away from their destination and couldn't tell anyone about their discovery until Jeremy's daughter had been told.

There was much speculation regarding his death at first, the main one, that he had been killed in a hit and run. Because his body had been out in the heat for five days, I'm sure that there was not any indication to suspect otherwise until the autopsy had been performed. There was not trauma internally or externally, which ruled out a couple of scenarios, the hit and run being one, and suicide the other.

I had been left at home, with my two kids and a niece and nephew while Dan and the rest of his family went to Oklahoma. I am so grateful for all those who helped me when I learned the news and broke down a bit. It was difficult to be without Dan and knowing that he was hurting and I wasn't there to support him was my downfall. Members of our ward family stepped in to provide food, love, and a shoulder to cry on while we waited in limbo for what would come next.

The children and I left on Thursday morning in a rental car and drove straight through to Fort Sill when we found out that the funeral would be the following week. The Lord was with me as I had help with a driver from Oklahoma (a dancer friend of my sister-in-law) and was able to make the drive and get into Fort Sill around 7 am Friday morning. We arrived in time to make it to the military memorial, where the soldiers from Jeremy's unit paid their final respects. It was an emotional service, where Taps and a 21 gun salute were performed. Taps will forever hold a new meaning for me when I hear it now, because I am quite sure that there has never been performed a more lonely song than Taps.

We are now in a waiting pattern as we await the funeral and burial this Thursday. We are in Wichita, KS, staying with Dan's older brother Casey. There has been much laughter, tears, jokes and stories, as the family is begins to cope with the loss of a much beloved brother and son. His wife has been strong, and I can't imagine the feeling of loss that she must be feeling, or the devastation that his daughter must feel. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge I have of the Resurrection. It has comforted us while we have been on this journey of grief. I am also grateful for the Church. We were able to attend an activity of a ward in Lawton, OK on Friday, a diversion after the memorial, and were welcomed with open arms and hugs, and tears for our loss by members that didn't know us. Here in Wichita, we attended church and again were welcomed with hugs, tears, and offers of help. Not only were people saddened by our loss, but they have gone out of their way to offer support in anyway they can.

Thank you to all that have thought of us in this difficult time and those that have prayed for us and gone out of their way to offer love, support, and to watch over our home. My own parents need to know how much I appreciate all that they have done. Sometimes, words aren't enough to express how much their service to me means. I hope that I can repay in kind someday.

3 Lovely Scribbles to Me:

Nef Family said...

First off, I've checked your blog before only now to realize how to access your current posts. I am so not digitally inclined. We are so sorry to hear about Jeremy. I started getting a feeling something was not quite right since the lack of activity around your home has been out of the norm. We just found out today. We are shocked and very saddened. I know it is assumed that we have too much going on and cannot offer support. Things have calmed down (thanks for getting me out of my frantic hormonal pregnancy meltdown the other day). We are here for you. Our trials may be different, but I think we are meant to support each other through the ones we get assigned to. Drive home safe. A big hug is waiting when you return!!!

Terresa said...

I'm so sorry for you & your family. I just visited the FB page for your brother-in-law and began to piece together the amazing man that he was. The sonnet, the pictures, the tributes to him are all beyond words. Love you, Teri.

DeNae said...

I'm almost ashamed of myself for stumbling into this terrible tragedy in your life. I was scrolling through my list of followers and realized I hadn't actually met you yet, so I linked over here to say hello.

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. My heart really goes out to your husband and his family. Please know I'm thinking about you, will keep you in my prayers.

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