Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Over this past week, I've wondered and pondered on my will power and those things that take me from being firmly on the path of whatever I have a desire to do, whether it is to loose pounds, write a novel, paint my living room or just clear out the dishwasher once a day. It is so simple to just tell myself to "do it", but it doesn't always happen. The soft couch gets in the way of heading out to the gym, the computer brings distractions, always in the way of my writing, and complacency for the status quo. What will it take to make me change myself and go in the direction I need to move?
Here is the catalyst I've looked for in my quest to loose weight, my doctor telling me to do this. All of sudden, I'm not longer complacent and change must be endured for me to be comfortable again. Being a creature of habit, and not a lover of huge change, this in itself is a difficulty. I'm not great at making these types of changes that cause discomfort and pain. Let's be honest. It's hard work, and I'm all for the simple say of doing things. Isn't there just a pill I can take or magic wand in the back closet? No? Crap.
So, carbs. They are my comfort foods. Those that I turn to when I'm moody, sad, happy, and just need a little pick me up. According to the doctor, they are doing more harm than good when it comes to my body. So for a moment of peace and enjoyment, the lasting effects on my thighs and heart aren't worth it. It is a change that I'm not sure about quite yet. I'm leaving a zone of extreme comfort. I cook with carbs, I eat carbs, and enjoy it emensely. I was taught the importance of the food pyramid where carbs played a large role. I have to change my entire outlook on eating and living.
Of course, I can also relate this to my writing, or lack there of. I've spent months talking about writing, dreaming about writing, writing about writing, but haven't felt the change I desire when it comes to the actual act of writing. What am I scared of. I use time as my deterrent, but if I really wanted to make the change to create something I dream of, I would just do it, right? Again, self-discipline and my lack there of. I get sucked into everything else, all the while my mind whirling with dialogue that doesn't make it to paper, or scenes that are forgotten like last night's dream, fading into wisps of unconsciousness.
The only thoughts I can come up with are: one moment at a time. While I wean myself off chocolate cake, and homemade bread, and learn to love vegetables that weren't always my favorite, I will count each moment a victory. Now if I could only do the same with the paint in my living room.
Thanks to Google for the image.