Welcome to my digital writing journal, or mydigitalclutter. What started as a family blog almost two years ago has morphed into my writing therapy. This is where I do a lot of free writing, mostly about my life with my family and the things that catch my interest. While nowhere even close to perfect, in each post I like to see how my writing is changing with time and practice. Most posts are left unedited for this reason, so if you don't mind, take the journey with me.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I’m feeling that anticipation and excitement that comes every year about this time, when I start to count the hours to Christmas. I’m very glad I found my spirit, because I’m sure without it, the barren walks and silence would cause some unease. But to me, it is calm, almost like the pause before a great storm.
The storm I am anticipating is not unwelcome; it is of my own creation. I am not quite sure how the storm will weather my life, but it will make choices clearer and the path more evident; at least that is my hope.
When I woke up this morning, the fog was covering the world in a heavy blanket. The streetlight made only a small globe of light before being swallowed up in the dense gray. What I would have done, to only sit at the window and create a character to emerge from the swirling doom. But, the real world awaited and the day had to begin. I left those thoughts in a corner of my mind, and they became swallowed up by the others who have residence there, a concoction of real and imaginary.
I put this out there publicly, perhaps to give myself the push to carve out time for what I love. The urge is there, like a fist pushing between my shoulder blades, a constant pressure. It isn’t an unpleasant feeling, but something that is my constant companion. After many false starts and stops, deleting files, (I write digitally you know), ripping pages out of notebooks, and lamenting my perfectionist attitude, I am letting it all go. I shall sit and write. And write. I will let the dialog flow as it may, and know that I can improve upon it another day.
I plan to sit in my chair, snow swirling out my window. I may have a cup of cocoa, a cookie, and instead of curling up with a good book, I shall get lost in a story of my own making. I refuse to let the voices in my head cause damage to my mental abilities other than what they have already done. They are aching for a voice, and I have a story to tell.
So, for my few days of respite from the real world, I shall revel in my children and the excitement of Christmas, love my husband and share his joys, spend time with family and friends. I shall also hide in a cubby hole of my own making and visit those who are waiting not so patiently for me to give them life on paper. Those are my holiday plans.
What are your plans this Holiday?
*Thanks to Google for the image*